The reason the Irish celebrate St. Patrick's Day is because this is when St. Patrick drove the Norwegians out of Ireland. It seems that some centuries ago, many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter.  Ireland was having a famine at the time, and food was scarce. The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area, leaving the Irish with nothing to eat but potatoes. St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands, as most Irishmen do, decided the Norwegians had to go. Secretly, he organized the Irish IRATRION  (Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians) Irish members of IRATRION  passed a law in Ireland that prohibited merchants from selling ice boxes or ice to the Norwegians, in hopes that their fish would spoil. This would force the  Norwegians to flee to a colder climate where their fish would keep. Well, the fish spoiled, all right, but the Norwegians, as everyone knows today, thrive on spoiled fish. So, faced with failure, the desperate Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian invaders. But, as everyone knows, the Norwegians thought this only added to the flavor of the fish, and they liked it so much they decided to call it "lutefisk", which is Norwegian for "luscious fish".
Matters became even worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop and making something called "lefse". Poor St. Patrick was at his wit's end, and finally on March 17th, he blew his top and told all the Norwegians to "GO TO HELL".  So they all got in their boats and emigrated to Minnesota, the only other place on earth where smelly fish, old potatoes and plenty of cold weather can be found in abundance.
The End. 

Here's a few from my Dad in Sun Prairie:

Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few moments after takeoff. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and asked, "Are you a pole vaulter?" Ole replied, "No, I'm Norvegian and my name ain't Valter."

Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norwegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," answered Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

Here is one submitted from Marvin:

Ole had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.  "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.  Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"  Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."  The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."  By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."  Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded.  "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.   I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning.  I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.  Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?"  "Now vat the hell vould you say?"

Here is one from John Weber in Wittenberg, WI: 

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.  He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."  Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."  "Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said,  "Lordy!!! It's 2006 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.  I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new!  Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"  Ole says..."How vas I suppose to pick them up?


Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

Ole walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" Ole says, "Yesterday I vas ironing a shirt when da phone rang and (hold iron to ear) shhh! I accidentally answered da iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" Ole says, "Well, jeez, I had to call da doctor!"

"Hey Sven, " said Ole, "how many Swedes does it take to grease a Combine?" After Sven replied, "I don't know." Ole said, "Only two, if you run dem through real slow."

Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest pee-pee in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN."

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "

Ole and Sven were trying to get a mule into the barn, but it's ears were too long. Ole looked at the barn and then looked at the mule. Finally he suggested raising the barn. Sven thought about this and said, "I tink it vould be easier to dig a trench." "No, you dummy," exploded Ole, "it's dah ears dat are too long, not dah legs!"

"It's yust too hot to wear clothes today," said Ole as he stepped out of the shower. "Lena, vhat do you tink the neighbors vould tink if I mowed the lawn like dis?" "Probably that I married you for your money."

Sven & Ole worked together and both were laid off work,so they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classified as unskilled labor, so she gave him $300 a week employment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation."Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stichers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven puts them over his head and says, yah, diesel fitter."